6 Ways to Help a Picky Eater Eat Away from Home

Picky eaters often have a harder time eating away from home. Unfamiliar surroundings, loud sounds, and time limits can make meals stressful or overwhelming. To help your child eat more comfortably outside the house, pack preferred foods, practice new foods at home first, and communicate with school staff.

Key takeaways

• When packing school lunch, include only foods your child already eats well at home. Offering a new food in an unfamiliar setting makes it more likely that they will not eat anything.
• Inviting your child to choose and prepare food gives them a sense of control, which can ease anxiety about eating away from home.
• A child who eats a very limited range of foods or has strong negative reactions, such as gagging, covering their nose, or spitting out food, may have a sensory feeding disorder rather than simple pickiness.
• Frequent gagging, refusal of entire food groups, coughing while eating, or mealtime anxiety can signal that a child may need feeding therapy. A speech therapist can evaluate and treat these concerns.
• If your child receives feeding therapy, mealtime accommodations may be added to their IEP so school staff understand how to support them at lunch.

Free 45-minute consult

Looking for a speech therapist?

Talk through what you are noticing and get clear next steps.

Request a free consult

Why can eating away from home be challenging for some kids?

Meals away from home can be difficult for children with feeding difficulties. Several factors can contribute.

Home is the environment your child knows best. Eating in a school cafeteria, at a restaurant, or at Grandma’s house can feel very different. There may be many unfamiliar sensations to process, including loud cafeteria voices, a crowded restaurant table, or smells from other people’s food. These differences can make children, especially picky eaters, feel less comfortable eating.

Children may also be used to having as much time as they need to finish meals at home. At school or in a restaurant, they usually need to eat faster. Feeling rushed can make mealtime stressful and overwhelming, and children may eat less than they typically would.

6 tips for helping your child eat away from home

The American Speech-Language-Hearing Association (ASHA) offers expert tips for helping children eat at school. Much of this guidance applies to any place where your child eats.

1. Practice eating together

If your child needs to eat a certain amount to feel good, or needs to eat a wider variety of foods, work on those goals together in the comfort of home. Try new foods together. Talk about how each food looks and feels. Model the behavior by eating the new food yourself. Seeing a parent eat it can be extremely motivating for a child who is learning to try something new.

2. Involve your child in planning and preparing meals

Whether your child is taking lunch to school, summer camp, or another outing, let them help prepare it. They will know what to expect when they open their lunchbox.

Grocery shopping is another useful way to familiarize your child with the foods they will try that week. Shop at a time when your child can join you, and offer choices you are comfortable with. For example, let them choose which type of chicken tenders to try or which bread to use for sandwiches.

3. Pack preferred foods

If your child is highly selective and struggles with new foods, do not pack completely unfamiliar foods for meals away from home. Include foods you know they will eat and that will fill them up. You can practice new foods together at home, but wait until your child eats them reliably there before packing them for another setting.

4. Ask for information without making it a big issue

When your child comes home with an untouched lunch, it is natural to have questions. Try to learn what happened without turning eating into a stressful subject. You could say, “Tell me about lunchtime today,” “Is there anything you don’t like about your lunch?” or “Is anything about eating hard? What is it?” Listen carefully, then work with your child to think of ways to address the problems they describe.

5. Choose a fun lunchbox or water bottle

Here is one simple idea: Let your child choose a lunchbox, water bottle, or other eating utensils that motivate them. They might pick a lunchbox featuring a favorite TV character or a cup in their favorite color. These details may seem small, but they can make meals more enjoyable and perhaps less stressful.

6. Talk with staff or other adults in charge

It may help to tell the adults caring for your child about their eating challenges. You might say, “My child gets overwhelmed in a loud room. If they seem upset, would you mind checking in with them?” Or you could explain, “My child has trouble finishing a meal quickly. Would you let them know when lunch will end in about 10 minutes?”

This kind of support will not be possible in every situation, but keeping other adults or school staff informed is still worthwhile. If your child is receiving feeding treatment, they may also qualify for mealtime accommodations in their IEP.

How can you tell if your child needs feeding therapy?

Is your child simply a picky eater, or could something else be happening? If they have intensely negative feelings or reactions to certain foods, or eat a very limited diet, sensory issues may be contributing. This is called sensory food aversion or sensory feeding disorder. In these situations, feeding therapy can make a meaningful difference.

Sensory feeding disorders can cause several symptoms. A child with sensory food aversions may:

• Appear disgusted by the sight of a new food on their plate
• Become uneasy when they smell a new food
• Refuse to try or eat much of foods with certain flavors, such as savory or spicy foods
• Dislike particular textures, including meat or foods that are juicy or stringy, such as fruits or vegetables
• Gag frequently
• Cover their mouth or nose and refuse food
• Spit food out
• Show generally negative reactions or anxiety around eating and mealtimes

Sensory aversions do not look the same in every child. Some children have many types of aversions, while others have only a few. Some react strongly to foods they dislike, while others refuse more quietly. Regardless of how severe the aversion appears, children need to be able to eat both an adequate amount and a wide variety of foods.

Other feeding difficulties involve the skills needed to eat or drink safely:

• Some children struggle with sucking, eating from a spoon, chewing, or drinking from a cup.
• Some children have dysphagia, which is a swallowing disorder. They have trouble moving food or liquid through the mouth, throat, or esophagus and into the stomach.

Feeding and swallowing disorders are often associated with other medical conditions, though they can also occur without a known cause.

Feeding therapy is necessary for children at risk of choking or aspiration, which occurs when food or liquid enters the airway. Signs of aspiration to watch for include:

• Coughing while eating or drinking
• Eyes becoming red while eating or drinking
• Watery or teary eyes while eating or drinking
• A gurgly or wet-sounding voice during or after eating or drinking
• Gagging
• Choking while eating or drinking

If you notice any of these problems in your child, it is important to speak with a speech therapist.

Related guides

Feeding and Swallowing Milestones for Toddlers Ages 1 to 3

Sensory Feeding Disorders: What Parents Need to Know

A Parent’s Guide to Childhood Feeding Disorders

Sensory Food Aversion in Children: How Feeding Therapy Helps

What happens in childhood feeding therapy?

The goal of feeding therapy is to help a child safely eat as many foods and liquids as possible. Here is an overview of what feeding therapy may involve.

Sensory feeding therapy

When sensory issues keep a child from eating enough food or enough types of food, sensory feeding therapy focuses on increasing both volume and variety. The speech therapist helps the child reduce sensory aversions and negative responses to food. Approaches may include:

• Playing with non-preferred foods
• Using food chaining, which targets new foods that resemble foods the child already likes
• Following the child’s lead during interactions with food

For example, playing with a food can help a child become comfortable interacting with it before they eat it. A speech therapist may guide the child through a series of steps toward taking a bite, such as smelling, touching, kissing, and then licking the food. The therapist watches the child’s responses to determine when they appear ready to try eating it.

Therapy for safe feeding

When feeding safety is a concern, therapy focuses on identifying foods and liquids the child can consume safely. Modifying foods or drinks may also be considered. For example, foods may be mashed to create a softer consistency, or thickener may be added to liquids to make them easier to manage.

Feeding therapy may also use oral-motor exercises to improve a child’s strength and coordination, which can make eating safer. For example, a child with poor jaw strength may need therapy to develop the ability to chew adequately.

How to find a speech therapist for feeding therapy

If your child has feeding problems, talk with their pediatrician. The pediatrician can help you find a speech therapist who specializes in childhood feeding treatment. You can also research feeding therapists or practices yourself. Reaching out to ask a few initial questions can be a helpful first step.

Astrel provides online feeding therapy for children of all ages. You can get matched with a feeding therapist here. The sooner your child receives a feeding evaluation, the sooner they can begin getting the support they need.